Rich and Happy Ranks Values

What?!?! I have to Read It AGAIN

We ended last week with me going back to read the entirety of Chapter 5.

So I did and I realized, if I don’t have eight values or anti-values, so what.

If I’m able to identify even one value for myself, that’s a start. Not having or recognizing and ignoring my values is what creates issues. And boy do I know about issues.

It’s those issues which prompted me to ask for help in the first place and if I’m not even willing to look at those issues, how will help, help me?

Combining the Realizations

I did combine the three “finding my values and anti-values” iterations.

What I ended up with:

Values – sovereignty, joy, safety, gratitude, peace, compassion, love, truth

Anti-values – weakness, apathy, poverty, lack, judgment, malice, apathy

I proceeded to rank them. I read the Chapter 5 twice, three times, a fifth time and finally grasped the concept of the charting/ranking process only after I began the attempt. Before I attempted by putting pen to paper, I tried to talk my way through it so I could have a tutorial about how to do it and that confused me even more, so …

Just. Do. It. Put pen to paper. Get it wrong. Then get it less wrong. Get it more right and finally get it good enough.

I realize, had I  just read it once, or not gone back to read it again after realizing I hadn’t read all of it in the first place, how easy it is for me to justify skipping the whole thing and putting the book, process, learning or whatever down.

Eek, well hello there justification pattern of the pattern.

How NOT to Justify Your Patterns

1. Tell yourself it doesn’t matter. You’re alive. That’s ALL you need to be happy.
2. Check to see if you’re happy. Not happy go to #3. Happy go to #4.
3. Beat yourself up because you’re supposed to be happy, hey You’re Alive.
4. See how happy you are? Who needs this stinkin’ stress of not knowing how to do this stupid charting/rnaking thing in some free book you got anyway. You’re already happy, now go buy a lottery ticket and get rich.
5. Borrow two dollars from your mom, dad, best friend, grandmother anyone who will still lend you money to buy a lottery ticket and wait, $15 because you’ll need gas so you can get to the ticket office when you win big. Good thing you know how to think ahead.
6. Go home back to where you’re borrowing space and crash in front of the television and wait for the lottery announcer to call your winning numbers.
7. Rinse and repeat until you win the lottery. Now you’re Rich and Happy.

Getting out of Step With the Pattern

First I gave myself the benefit of doubt. So what if it doesn’t make sense, it’s new information, a new way of seeing, thinking or doing something.

I recognized as I started beating myself up, I was telling myself the lie that I think I should be able to quickly, easily and without thought, just magically see what I value and how I rank those values.

So I have a belief that says I am  able to quickly, easily and without thought, just magically always have the full knowledge and understanding of how to see, think and do everything, some simple charting/ranking exercise.

WOW. Really? I don’t possess omniscience?

I got as honest as I could and for me that meant putting the book down and not touching it again for four days. It also meant spending time actively avoiding thinking about how not so happy I am and believing the faster I get through the book, the faster I get happy and rich.

Over the course of four days I completely avoided worked through each of the feelings and thoughts showing up about my own abilities. It wasn’t pretty.

Yet it helped clear my head of multiple assumptions I didn’t even realize I was holding.

I was honest about needing to put the book down. I was open to and acknowledging of how the anti-value has been directing my life.

I gave myself permission to allow the flow of emotions – sorrow, grief, anger, hate, jealousy, helplessness, powerlessness, hopelessness, shame, neediness, resistance and denial.

I gave myself permission to see that, honestly all those emotions began showing up when I asked for help and kept showing up asking for some attention.

I reminded myself that taking time for identification, acknowledgment and passing of emotions, is what it is.

My counselor even reminded me, “Emotions aren’t weapons.”

I only slightly tried stemming the flow with food and avoidance and I allowed even those to show up when none of the other self-care suggestions could ease them. I called them what they were.

The nutter butter single serving food dam.

The second nutter butter single serving food dam.

The red book that is 218 pages of good for bleching up my life avoidance.

The gee it’s chilly I wonder if I should pull my winter clothes back out avoidance.

The fifth nutter butter single serving food dam in a day.

I won’t bore you with all my food dams and avoidance techniques.

Today, this morning as I type this, I know from experience, by allowing all of that to exist, I am also willing to allow myself a glimmer of the possibilities of the thought  that I have the choice to  value instead of avoid an anti-value.

I also gave myself drops and dribs and drabs of empathy, acceptance, compassion, space and love.

I acknowledged with humility, a promise to myself to be open and forthcoming and show up.

What about the Rankings?

So what exactly were my rankings? All will be revealed.

I’m taking some time to grieve the coughsputterthirtysixsputtercough years of my life I’ve used as avoidance strategy, mitigating, denying and blaming, instead of living congruent with my values.

Grief take times. And even if I don’t want to give it time and doubt that time will help or is even necessary, there is only so much I can see and understand and remember at one time.

I have no omniscience.

What I can promise next Thursday is talk of ties and tying. I have no idea what else will show up – on purpose.

See you next week!

- LaShae

You can still grab your own signed copy of “How to Be Rich and Happy” for 20% off (just click the link above and click the buy now button on the page that opens up). You’ll help Tim and John in their quest to give away 1,000,000 copies to young people between 15-20 years old, single parents on income support, unemployed people and homeless people.

Hey that’s people like me. I’ve been 3 out of the 4 and I’m currently 2 out of the 3.

Tagged As: How to Be Rich and Happy, John Strelecky, ranking values, Tim Brownson