Continuum of Acceptance

Accepting who we are in each moment is a hard thing to do. Seeing it is harder.

You know that feral voice of yours? The one that shows up when for the umpteenth and final time you demand from someone else or from yourself that something change?

And there you or they are standing on your last nerve pretending it’s a super spiral bouncy castle.

Will you accept this part of you as she is in that moment?

Sure it’s easy to accept our good and solid, helpful and loving parts. Not the same when it comes to the parts of us that no one likes to see or be seen through.

Yet acceptance of that part of us sheds light on our interior.

No I don’t always want to see that light either and that’s why we all float along the continuum of acceptance.

What acceptance isn’t.

Acceptance isn’t tolerating unhealthy and dangerous behaviors from other people or from yourself.

Acceptance isn’t being a door mat and allowing anyone to walk across your threshold.

Acceptance isn’t believing, you or I will always be this way forever and ever amen.

Acceptance isn’t about blaming, judging, criticizing, interpreting, suffering, worrying, shaming, guilting or any thing violent.

So what is acceptance?

It is about seeing who and how we are in a present moment, a slice of the now, and unconditionally saying,

‘hey that’s a part of me too and it’s maybe a part of me believing something about itself which may or may not be true. Still it’s a part of me and I’m going to acknowledge it as part of me.’

Once we get to the acknowledgement of that part of us, we’ve reached in-lighting. We can choose then to clean out that dusty cobwebbed, lint bunny part of that corner of our interior. Or not.

What we won’t be able to do is forget that the light has shown us another part of ourselves.

Because the acknowledgement creates an acceptance spiral. We will find ourselves visiting that corner again and again, no matter what choice we’ve made about addressing it previously.

The acknowledgment moves higher and higher into our consciousness.

We receive the opportunity to choose acceptance and address the needs behind the parts of use we’ve been rejecting, over and over and over again. Each instance is it’s own choice and is not dependent on the choice we made last time.

Flowing with the continuum, we know trust begin a practice of trusting and stop cringing each time the we shine the in-light.

We practice accepting even the less than desirable parts of ourselves without judging them good or bad.

We accept them for what they are and in that acceptance we find a gift.

We find ways to respond that are more in line with what we’re feeling and needing and truly want to express.

We find more connection and softening and gentle sighing.

We find less violence to ourselves and by extension we from others.

We get our needs met in healthy ways. (My way was turning to Hageen Daz. No worries Daz, I’ll always remember the times you helped me through, it’s just that I’d like to see healthier options and still sometimes I can’t choose to quit you.)

We find that yes, indeedly doodely, we have needs and they aren’t actively being met by us or expressed well by us either to ourselves or to others. And we’re responding to that misunderstanding from a place of needing and our needing being ignored.

So the continuum of acceptance is going to happen if you’re willing to become aware.

Where would you choose to shine the in-light first?

P.S. And you know what else comes from accepting all the parts of ourselves and identifying our needs and getting them met in healthy ways? Inner peace. Ahhhh. Mmmmmm. NomNomNom. That’s something to chew on.

photo credit: John Steven Fernandez