Life sucks. Life sometimes sucks. Choose.
My life used to suck. And I could show you plenty of evidence. I’ve also got plenty of the same evidence which says it doesn’t.
Here are the facts.
I live with my parents. I am in debt up to my eyeballs. I am sad and depressed much of the time and I know why. I don’t have a significant other. I don’t have children. My desire to be alive fades in and out daily. I contemplate suicide. I am forty. I have two dogs.
These are facts. They don’t define me as much as they define a place and time in which I exist and with what.
We decide.
And I decided. I decided a lot of things and made them beliefs by finding, creating and confirming any and all evidence to fit the decision. I ignored the bits and pieces of the facts that didn’t fit my chosen belief.
Then one day, I decided again, differently
I chose to be happy see that a sucky life is a choice.
I’m grateful my parents feel guilty love me enough to allow me to live with them, even though none of us want it to be longer than it need be. And we all know longer when it’s relatives is actually really short.
Grateful to choose love and compassionate self care, which do not require money and proffer significant returns on the choice of investment.
Grateful to know that sadness and depression are not an all or nothing or an always and forever, consumption of every single moment of every single day.
Choosing to live fully in the moments not consumed with joy, happiness, verve and peace.
Glad to know that sadness is really just a reservoir of emotions I didn’t feel safe expressing after a childhood I couldn’t fully experience without terror.
I am happy to know that while I may yet have the best significant other possible for me, I have not settled just so I won’t be alone.
Enthused to know that my relationship with myself is becoming the best it can be, prior to committing to be the other half of the best couple we can be.
Relieved to know that while I believe children are our future, I don’t have the need to force myself into owning the full-time responsibility of grooming, raising, caring for and nurturing a child.
I can be the bestest best friend and play aunt I know how to be for ANY child in need and can commit to that with 100 percent.
Thankful to know that when the desire to be alive is IN, I light up and that I have the power to live fully on the IN position, simply because the OUT exists.
And the more I live on the IN position, the more alive I feel in general. And because I feel more alive in general, even when switched to the out position, my
desire to live doesn’t go away, it shimmers and sparkles in less vibrant color. Yet shimmer and sparkle it does.
So nothing changed
Even though things look the same, all of my facts are same as they were before, every thing changed because I decide daily to make this a new choice.
I still live with my parents.
I still have debt up to my eyeballs.
I still experience the sadness and depression.
I am still in a single relationship with myself.
I’m no longer afraid to share these parts of myself. I’m no longer ashamed that they make up a part of who I am. I know I have the ability to switch my focus and choose again and again and again.
What choice are you believing you’re stuck with? What other choices are you forgetting exist?
